To all those experiencing domestic violence, Christine says:
"Talk to somebody about what you are going through. Talk to somebody."
Washington, D.C., November 20, 2006 (PAHO)—"One of the things I have learned as I recover from what happened to me is that I am not alone. Domestic violence and all that comes with it is much more common than we all realize and often care to admit," said Christine, a 49 year old woman and a mother of two teenagers that lives with her two children just south of Washington, D.C., in the state of Virginia. She suffered domestic violence and abuse and in 2002 she decided enough was enough.
"There is something else I have come to realize, which is that I am allowed to be imperfect and therefore, I do not have to be afraid all the time as I was at some point in my life. This is a very freeing feeling," she said. "I no longer have to put a face, a particular fake front to walk in life. Back then, there was always, always, a reason to be busy. That was indeed a trap because it seemed as though I just did not have -or was not permitted rather- to having time just for myself. I can now be myself and be very happy about it."
Speaking from her home, Christine said that she was able to see her very own story reflected in all those shared at support meetings in the area, which she attended regularly while at the same time going through counseling. She makes a strong case not to delay getting much needed help and support. To all those experiencing domestic violence, she says: "Talk to somebody about what you are going through. Talk to somebody."
The experience of looking back and in the present moment at her story through similar stories shared by so many people gave Christine the knowledge and the confidence to start an extraordinarily important healing process. She indeed has begun to break the very entangled and vicious cycle of abuse. This is not only giving her a brand new freedom and perspective in life but indeed, it is making possible a new healing also in the lives of her own children.
The moment of epiphany for her really brewed between 2001 and 2002, as she listened very carefully to related topics of domestic violence and abuse at a very famous TV show hosted by Oprah Winfrey, a hugely famous TV personally that has enormous influence in American culture. Christine had a daily routine to turn on the TV and watch Oprah while fixing dinner for her family. During those months of 2001, the celebrity had many segments on topics directly related to women and what many of them go through at home, she said. Often "subjects of women losing themselves."
As she watched and listened month after month "I began to realize: Oh my God, this is me." Not long after, by July 2002, Christine made the move and called the police at 911.
"Women often secretly want to leave. But then comes Christmas, and holidays… And there always seems that the time is not right for whatever reason. You are the homemaker, right? And if you are the homemaker you don't want to be the home breaker."
In an interview, Christine said that if someone is hurting you, the children are also being hurt as well. "Children pick up extraordinarily well all the behavior and dynamics that take place at the home," she said. "It is not just me that does not have to feel trapped or imprisoned anymore in the cycle of violence and abuse. It is also the freedom and wellbeing of my children that must be nurtured and protected at all times".
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